Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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