I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
