Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
