I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
