whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
