He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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