You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize