Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
where are my eyebrows?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize