Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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