just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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