I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
