I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
