ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize