I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
