You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
