Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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