If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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