my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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