I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
