so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's just like the Real World with babies
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
