Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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