found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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