Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize