I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
