we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
