Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
