11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
