Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
