You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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