hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
