Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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