i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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