Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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