he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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