Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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