mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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