Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
