i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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