We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
