I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
