I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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