I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
