Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
