i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
