He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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