my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
