please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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