Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize