check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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