OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
