If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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