I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
