you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
