I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it glows. i had to have it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We don't watch enough power rangers
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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