Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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