Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize