did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
