Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
