This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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