brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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