My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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