apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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