Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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