@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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