You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
