I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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